i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
