Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
