Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
