i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
