dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
