At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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