i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
