Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
