No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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