I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
