Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
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You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
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I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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