Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
