Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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