So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
