Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
