She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
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we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
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It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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