video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
