i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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