the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I will pee on everything he values.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
