the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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