I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
