do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
