Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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