Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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