guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
