At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Two words: blizzard sex
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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