so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
