there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Every concussion has its silver lining
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
