Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
