i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
