Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.

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  (805) she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat. http://tfl.nu/up7k
  Replies (12) Good night (1519) Bad night (1707)
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  (716): View more from New York

  honey bunches of taint.

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  (716): honey bunches of taint. http://tfl.nu/msqz
  Replies (11) Good night (1180) Bad night (2831)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....

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  (845): I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex.... http://tfl.nu/n100
  Replies (15) Good night (3208) Bad night (1736)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".

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  (802): My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary". http://tfl.nu/h26g
  Replies (5) Good night (3125) Bad night (1030)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve

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  (732): Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve http://tfl.nu/de13
  Replies (4) Good night (4573) Bad night (938)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.

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  (303): I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van. http://tfl.nu/3fdc
  Replies (17) Good night (1445) Bad night (4043)
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  (805): View more from California

  How much is that going to cost?

  (1-805): View more from California

  A lot of beer.

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  (805): How much is that going to cost? (1-805): A lot of beer. http://tfl.nu/syqn
  Replies (3) Good night (1772) Bad night (664)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.

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  (617): she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax. http://tfl.nu/m9dz
  Replies (3) Good night (1321) Bad night (960)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.

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  (724): Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful. http://tfl.nu/ytjz
  Replies (2) Good night (1327) Bad night (647)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?

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  (919): But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night? http://tfl.nu/eqjw
  Replies (8) Good night (1293) Bad night (515)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti

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  (610): We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature (610): Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti http://tfl.nu/iam9
  Replies (1) Good night (1215) Bad night (656)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.

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  (339): In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese. http://tfl.nu/cela
  Replies (4) Good night (695) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?

  (305): View more from Florida

  It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.

  (954): View more from Florida

  STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn

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  (954): Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich? (305): It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too. (954): STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn http://tfl.nu/d113
  Replies (1) Good night (1231) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE

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  (425): I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE http://tfl.nu/sn9a
  Replies (5) Good night (474) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances

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  (610): I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances http://tfl.nu/sqi3
  Replies (2) Good night (393) Bad night (279)

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