your parents love me but you hate me
Non-Jews are for practice
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
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my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
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I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.