Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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