There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
this will be a night to untag.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
