i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize