So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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