well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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