The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
third nipple confirmed
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
