Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
