Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
