I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she smelled like a LAN party
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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