Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Two words: blizzard sex
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
