fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
