I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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