: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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