I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
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You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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