I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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