I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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