hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
