I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize