it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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