apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize