Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
