This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
