these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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