My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
