If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize