Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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