apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
