Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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