I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
