Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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