she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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