I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
