just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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