When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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