'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
