i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
and she was petting her beer can
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
