We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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