i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
