Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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