Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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