yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
