I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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