no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
In other news, I just burned my penis
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
