God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
