If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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